


the stories are off

by haipollai



Category: Avengers (Comics), Captain America (Comics)
Genre: Government Experimentation, M/M, Super Soldier Serum, Threesome - M/M/M, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:28:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2432141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hey Rogers," Tony pushes his way through the room to talk to him. He gives them an odd look but  manages to censor himself for once. "Vision has something to show us. Come on."</p>
<p>Steve can see Sam's carefully neutral expression and feel Bucky frowning against his shoulder. "Yea. I'm coming." He squeezes Bucky's shoulder as he gets up, trying to be reassuring but he's wishing for another cigarette.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the stories are off

**Author's Note:**

> old fic i found in my wip folder

Steve slips out from the mansion. There's a big group there for once instead of the usual small numbers in and out. Steve is used to living in crowded spaces, surrounded by people. But sometimes he needs quiet. He grabs a notebook and finds an empty balcony. The mansion doesn't look out at much, some trees, it's weird not to see the city despite being almost in the middle of it. Skyscrapers loom overhead so he settles down almost on his back so he can see them.

He digs around in his pocket and pulls out a crumpled pack. He makes a face when he sees there's only one left, he'll have to remember to get more the next time he goes out. There's a second while he considers just saving it until later but the idea of it sounds comforting, so he pulls it out and lights up.

The smoke is a comforting burn. It doesn't last long, the serum working hard to get rid of the toxins. For a second he forgets about his notebook, letting it sit open on his stomach.

"You smoke?"

He almost jumps and has to push himself up on his elbows to see who has snuck up on him. "Yes?"

Clint gives him a confused look and comes further out onto the balcony, pulling up one of the chairs out there so it's closer to Steve. "You serious, man?"

Steve takes a long drag from the cigarette. "Since-" He shrugs, not sure he really wants to tell Clint how long exactly. "A long time." He breathes in again and lets the smoke drift out of his mouth. "And not like cancer is a concern now. I'd offer you one but it's my last one."

"It's not very wholesome America of you."

He laughs sharply and finally pushes himself up so he can face Clint. "In today's America maybe." He looks up at the skyscrapers looming far overhead. "Was paid with cigarettes when I was ten. Came in my rations during the war. Traded them for chocolate most of the time." He puts the cigarette out on the balcony and tucks what remains back into the box. "I'm going back inside."

Clint shoves the chair over so it's not blocking the door. "Hey, uh if I upset you-"

Steve claps him on the shoulder. "No. Don't worry about it."

"Steve-"

"Don't worry, it won't fuck me up on a mission."

"No Steve," Clint punches him lightly. "It's just weird to see you smoke. Didn't know you did it."

He shrugs and shoves the pack deep into a pocket. "Now you do."

Bucky is in the living room when Steve makes his way back inside. He's playing chess with Sam, the two of them trying to ignore the chaos of a full house. Steve figures they're his best bet so squeezes into the seat with Bucky, and ends up sitting on his lap. "You're heavy," Bucky whines distractedly, but slips an arm around his waist and leans in. "You were outside?"

"Needed a break."

Sam nods in understanding and makes a move. "It's a madhouse in here. Tempted to burn it down."

"I can feel Steve's lighter digging into my thigh if you want it," Bucky says, nudging him with his shoulder as he leans into make his own move. "Check."

Sam scowls. "You cheat."

"No, I just know the game better." Bucky smiles against Steve's shoulder, his fingers finding their way under Steve's shirt.

"Come on Steve, help me out," Sam asks, his lips curling in a hint of a pout.

Steve quickly shakes his head. He's not getting in the middle of this. "You knew what you were getting into," Steve says. Bucky pinches his side. "He is a cheat."

"Traitor."

"Hey Rogers," Tony pushes his way through the room to talk to him. He gives them an odd look but manages to censor himself for once. "Vision has something to show us. Come on."

Steve can see Sam's carefully neutral expression and feel Bucky frowning against his shoulder. "Yea. I'm coming." He squeezes Bucky's shoulder as he gets up, trying to be reassuring but he's wishing for another cigarette.

-

The meeting with Tony turns into a mission which lasts for sixteen hours outside of Frankfurt. He sits outside of the remains of a warehouse being used to create some kind of drone, resting his head heavily in his hands. His skin itches, his mouth tastes like metal and ash and he wants to be back in New York.

"Hey Cap," Carol drops down beside him. "You look like shit."

He snorts softly and picks his head up. "It's been a long day."

"Yea I noticed." She eyes him suspiciously. "You ok?"

Steve tries to smile and reassure her but it feels flat. He rubs tiredly at his eyes. "It's just-" He's interrupted by his phone going off and he quickly digs it out. It's a message from Bucky with one word. Moon. "Shit." He closes the text and puts the phone away again.

Carol's lips turn down into a slight frown. "Bad news?"

"Nah, just lost track of time." He can see Tony quickly approaching them and gets up to his feet.

"We should be all done here, I can fly you back to the states?" Carol volunteers. "Leave Tony to be his good managerial self and handle the clean up?"

Steve busies himself with adjusting his cowl. "Good managerial self?" He mumbles just as Tony reaches them. "We good here Tony?"

"Yea, Vision has hacked into their systems. I'm trying to keep up but you know, not an actual cyborg yet. Should have everything disabled and wiped within a few hours." He shrugs and trails off, probably looking at something on his HUD. "Um the media is watching so maybe a soundbite before taking off?"

Steve smiles at Carol and it's easier to fake with half his face obscured. "I think we can manage that, go finish cleaning up." Stark nods and starts to walk back into the warehouse to plug his suit into the system and help Vision. Steve twists on his heel as one last thought occurs to him. "And no keeping souvenirs!"

"You're no fun!" Stark yells back.

"Stark-"

"Don't worry. No souvenirs!" He gives Steve a thumbs up without turning around.

Steve sighs, pushing back the desire to throw his shield at him. Not the time or place. Stark was right about one thing, the media was watching. "Come on, let's be heroic."

The media wants to drag the interview out, find out every little detail about what's going on, why the Avengers got involved and as time passes, he can feel it pulling on him. His phone buzzes in his pocket again and he uses it as an excuse, explaining it was incredibly important, _unfortunately_ they couldn't linger, they really must go.

He sinks gratefully into the co-pilot's chair as Carol runs through take off procedure. He doesn't think twice about digging into one of the pouches at his hip and pulling out the wrinkled box of cigarettes. He had thrown it in there without really thinking about it, and he doesn't even light the cigarette now but holding it in his lips feels like a comfort. Carol shoots him a look but doesn't comment until they're somewhere over the mid-Atlantic.

"You look really stressed Steve."

His skin still itches, and it's moved into his bones. "Just been a long day. Need a good night's sleep and I'll be right as rain."

Carol makes a noise of disbelief. "You were like this a month ago too. Bucky treating you right because-"

"Bucky is definitely not one of my problems. Even when he gets into a state and just wants to destroy my punching bag." He twists the cigarette between his fingers and tries not to think about the itching. "How far from New York?"

"Fourty five minutes? Tops? Want me to punch it?" She tries to keep her face neutral but Steve knows she's always dying for a chance to put the Quinjet through it's paces.

Steve finds himself grinning back. "Yea sure Han Solo, punch it."

-

Carol brings the Quinjet over Steve's place in Brooklyn. It seemed to be a mostly converted warehouse. She's been there once, but Steve doesn't seem to use it often, she sees him more often at the mansion. She doesn't ask why they're there now and he doesn't volunteer. Someone comes up to the roof, drawn up by the noise of the jet.

"Thanks Carol," Steve says.

"Of course, take care of yourself Steve."

He laughs shakily. "That's the idea." He takes a few steps towards the door before pausing again and turning towards her. "Really Carol, thanks. For not asking or-"

"Steve, you're a friend. I get having secrets. Just be safe."

He shoots her a grin, it's open and honest but somehow sharper than his usual smile. And then he's out of the Quinjet, landing in a roll on his roof, the other person - Bucky - racing towards him. Carol can see him gesturing wildly until Steve catches his hands and then she's pulling the jet up and away.

-

Steve pushes the shield into Bucky's hands as soon as he's on his feet. Bucky half turns to give Carol a wave as she pulls away and then he's focused on Steve. "Idiot, you fucking idiot," he grumbles, getting his free arm around Steve's waist and hauling him inside.

"Sorry," Steve laughs, sounding raspier than normal.

"No you're not." The sun is touching the horizon and Steve jerks against him, starting to change. There's a room on the second floor of Steve's building that Bucky pulls him towards. The walls are concrete and the door is reinforced steel.

"What's the point if I can't do some good?" He pulls away from Bucky when they reach the door, starting to shrug out of his uniform.

Bucky frowns but can't argue with his logic, he knows he would be the same in Steve's shoes. He gets the door open, trying not to think about how his hands are shaking. Every month like clockwork. Bucky doesn't think he'll ever get used to it. Steve touches his elbow, his hand moving up to curl around Bucky's neck, pulling him over. He kisses Bucky's temple but then doubles over with a pained hiss.

"Get the fuck in there," Bucky snaps, pushing at Steve's side. "I'll check in in a few hours?"

Steve snarls, shaking his head hard. He hates Bucky coming in but if Steve's going to eat, Bucky has to.

"Steve-" He darts in to get a proper kiss, cupping Steve's face so he can't be noble and turn away. For a moment there's only them, until Steve grows desperate, giving him one last smile and a shove.

"Get out you idiot."

Bucky finally steps out and closes the door, making sure the locks are in place. Once Steve got it open again because Bucky had been exhausted and sloppy. He fidgets with things as he makes his way down to the kitchen. It's just getting dark out and he knows exactly what's going on in the room upstairs. Some perverse part of him keeps the apartment quiet, no tv or music, so he can try to hear but the walls are too thick and Steve too stubborn to scream. Usually Sam is there to keep him distracted, but tonight Sam is busy with something else. Everything had happened too fast.

He dozes on the couch for a few hours before getting up again to get food for Steve. Technically it's not needed, Steve can easily go the night without but it makes the mornings easier. It only takes a few minutes to get the food out of the fridge, it doesn't need any fancy preparation, Steve won't care.

Bucky has to be careful opening the door, making sure that Steve isn't right there but Steve's prowling on the far side of the room. He growls when the door opens and looks like he might pounce so Bucky throws the food over.

The slabs of raw meat hit the ground wetly and for a second Bucky finds himself staring down a wolf with Steve's sharp blue eyes. And then he turns to the meat, ignoring Bucky.

He should leave, it would be the sane thing to do. Instead he sinks down against the door, making sure it's shut behind him and just watches. It's not a pretty sight, werewolves don't have manners but it's still Steve somewhere in there.

He starts to drift off again, used to falling asleep anywhere until he feels something bump against his leg. Steve is standing over him, bigger than any normal wolf.

"Please don't eat me," Bucky yawns, still a little too out of it to be afraid. Steve drops something beside him and then flops onto Bucky's feet, muzzle on his knee. Waiting. Bucky grins when he sees it's some of the meat. "For me, huh? You really gotta stop worrying about me. You don't even fucking know who I am right now" He pulls a knife out of his belt and uses it to cut off a small piece, enough to satisfy Steve and hopefully not make himself sick.

Steve pushes himself up when Bucky starts chewing, going back to pacing the room. There are claw marks in the concrete and the door from past struggles. There are scars on Steve's shoulders and palms from hurling himself at the walls, scars that for some reason never quite healed.

"I know you adore the man," Bucky says to ignore the constant click of claws on the floor. "But fuck Erskine for this shit. How the fuck did anyone-" Steve's head snaps around, growling low in his throat. "I thought you couldn't understand me. Fuck Steve." He realizes after a second that it's not him Steve is focused on, something behind him.

Then he hears the voices from down in the apartment, yelling for Steve to wake up, it's an emergency, wake up.

"Fuck." He twists back to Steve, staying low so he's not seen as a threat. "You need to stay calm right now." He doesn't wait for an answer that's not coming and darts out of the room. The second he has the door closed he can hear something hit it hard.

The yelling is louder out here and he quickly darts down the stairs, to find Thor, Tony, Carol and Sam all in the living room. Sam shoots him an apologetic look, he knows and looks just as exhausted as Bucky feels.

"Barnes!" Tony snaps. "Where the fuck is your better half?"

Bucky presses his tongue to the roof of his mouth for five seconds before he does something stupid. "He's asleep, dead to the world after the shit you dragged him into earlier."

"Seriously? That was like eight hours ago, get him up."

He bristles at being ordered around by Stark of all people but Sam cuts in before he can react, shifting slightly so he's between Tony and Bucky. "I told you, you should wait until morning to get him."

"Maybe Sam's right," Carol says, sounding oddly hesitant. As if sharing a secret she shouldn't be. "He didn't look that good earlier. Maybe coming down with something."

"How does a super soldier get sick?" Tony scoffs. "I'll get him up, this is important." 

Bucky looks at Thor, the only one who hasn't spoken up yet but his lips are pressed in a fine line and it looks like it might stay that way. "There are frost giants in your realm, we need the strength of Steve Rogers," Thor says when he notices Bucky looking at him. 

"Get-"

"I am sorry. There is no one else."

Sam rests a hand on his shoulder and Bucky wants to sink into him, exhausted and worn out but he can't just yet. Sam's hand moves to the nape of his neck, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

Tony looks as if that's decided everything and starts for the stairs. "Your room is upstairs right?" He asks over his shoulder. "He's not going to be all naked and-" Bucky shrugs off Sam's hand and takes off after him but he knows it's too late. The door to the other room is still rattling and Steve might actually break one of the locks this time. He doesn't like strangers. Tony spares a glance for Bucky and Steve's bedroom and hones in on the door. "What the hell are you guys keeping in here?"

"Don't," Sam orders from behind him. "If you're gonna pry Stark, you gotta let Bucky lead."

Tony shoots them both a confused look but he's still reaching. The rattling stops as Tony's fingers touch the first lock. He seems actually a little freaked out now at the strange calm. "It's not your business Stark, walk away," Bucky says, voice hard.

"If it affects an Avenger, or you're I don't know, keeping some fucked up Russian experiment secret to unleash on us-" Bucky launches himself at Tony and Sam only barely manages to hold him back.

"One day-" He snarls.

"Yea but not today," Sam says. "Or let him open the door on his own."

Bucky feels the fight leave him. He never sleeps well on these nights if he manages sleep at all, and he's too tired for this. "Steve wouldn't forgive me," he grumbles, scowling at Tony.

"James Barnes," Thor says, making Bucky grimace at the use of his full name like some disobedient child. "What is behind the door? Steve is not in his bed."

"Think we're out of options," Sam says, squeezing his shoulder.

"Can I lie and say he ran to the bodega for condoms or lube?" Bucky sighs. It at least makes Tony turn an odd shade of red and Sam smiles, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"You two haven't used a condom since the war," Sam says, hand still warm on Bucky's shoulder. "You need to not get drunk and brag about trading them for chocolate."

It's a distraction, maybe Sam is trying to kill time but it won't be enough. There's still an hour until the end of the night and the stars start to vanish. But Bucky jumps on it. "It was good fucking chocolate. Especially when we reached Belgium." He sighs and takes the few steps towards the door. "Guess I should be pleased no one's accused me of doing shit to him."

"It was my next guess," Tony says.

"Stark," Sam says, low and dangerous though Bucky isn't sure anyone else can recognize that tone from him.

"Hey remember that time I punched you in the dick," Bucky retorts, reaching for the first lock. He keeps his ear close to the door, trying to get any idea of where in the room Steve might be. He has never been much for prayer, though sometimes it suits his needs and right now he finds himself praying that Steve doesn't react out of instinct and can smell him.

He steps in quickly as soon as he has the third lock open. Steve's backed himself up to the far wall, can probably taste the conflict in the air even if the words don't make any sense to him.

"Thirty seconds than come in," he says, looking right at Sam before stepping in and letting the door shut behind him. He makes his way over to Steve and very carefully strokes his side. There's still blood around his muzzle and Bucky can see some where he was throwing himself at the wall. "There's gonna be other people. You have to be calm." Steve growls but Bucky gets his arms around him before he can head towards the door as Sam finally nudges it open. He tangles his metal hand in the fur at Steve's neck, ready to physically hold him back if he has to.

"What the hell is this?"

"Erskine's dirty secret," Sam answers.

Thor nods. "I have seen warriors of this nature before, fierce Berserkers, for their strength they must become a wolf at the turn of the moon."

"Werewolves?" Carol asks, eyebrows shooting up incredulously. "You're saying the super soldier serum is made from a werewolf?"

Bucky lets their noise wash over him, staying focused on Steve. He's definitely agitated by so many new faces and the tension between them wasn't helping. The wolf is letting Bucky hold him back but it won't last for much longer. "You have about forty minutes before he's Steve again, so can you please get the fuck out."

Sam steps up and practically shoves Tony out of the room. Carol and Thor go willingly. He looks back at Bucky, apologetic that he can't stay

"Deal with them. I'll be fine." Bucky forces a smile which doesn't feel remotely convincing. He wants Sam to stay. Steve's gone from anxious to confused, the wolf knows Sam and doesn't seem to understand what's going on.

Sam's eyes narrow, obviously not buying it either but Steve suddenly shakes Bucky off the second his grip slips and Sam has to hastily close the door. Bucky can hear each lock clicking into place. He finally drops down onto his back, able to hear Steve hit the door but he can't make himself care what the wolf does now. Bucky expects Steve to continue trying to throw himself through the door but instead he returns to Bucky, licking at his face. He keeps his eyes and mouth firmly closed, he knows Steve can't change him but he doesn't want dog spit in his mouth. Bucky finally sits up to wipe his spit off on Steve's fur. "Gross man, even when you're human I don't want to be covered in your drool." He yawns and settles carefully against a wall, Steve watches him for a moment, still radiating agitation but eventually lies down close to him, protectively, occasionally growling softly. 

"Not worth it," Bucky mumbles, reaching out to lightly touch Steve's shoulder. The injury from earlier is gone but there's still blood matted in his fur.

He doesn't even know he's fallen asleep until Steve, blond and blue eyed and human, is shaking him awake.

-

Steve frowns hard when he sees Bucky in the room with him. They know that a full out brawl between the Winter Soldier and the wolf would be a draw, but Steve knows Bucky wouldn't fight that hard against Steve in any form. It's dangerous, they've been over this countless times. Even with both Bucky and Sam to restrain the wolf.

Bucky looks exhausted though, more so than usual and Steve can feel the ache in his own body that says the wolf fought hard. Since he's had Bucky and Sam to watch him, he's calmed, gotten through most nights without new injury which means something must have gone wrong.

He doesn't want to wake Bucky up but he knows he has to.

Bucky looks up at him, still mostly asleep and immediately reaches up and pulls him down into a kiss. Steve almost loses his balance and falls but manages to catch himself. "Do I want to know?" He asks when the kiss ends.

"No, but you need to," Bucky sighs and pushes himself up into a seated position. His eyes keep on darting to Steve's and then away again, whatever is going on he's blaming himself. "Stark, Carol and Thor showed up with Sam last night. Frost giants apparently. They wouldn't go away and-" He chews on his thumbnail.

"And?" But Steve already knows where this is going.

"They found you. Thought you were gonna tear out Stark's throat."

Steve presses the heels of his palm to his eyes. He knew it was a matter of time, if he was truly honest with himself, he was surprised he managed to keep it a secret this long. "Are they still here?"

"Don't know. Hopefully Sam is or else we're locked in." Bucky grins though it's forced and his exhaustion still pulls at his eyes, it's still a smile and Steve holds onto that.

"You- what?"

Bucky gets to his feet, making a show of stretching and almost reverently, he runs his fingers through Steve's hair, still on his knees in front of him. "Told Sam to lock the door so I wouldn't have to be responsible."

Steve tries to bite back his laughter because it isn't that funny, they could be locked in for who knows how long but a smile still slips out. He gets shakily to his feet, his limbs still not used to being human again and bending in different ways. Bucky's arms are immediately around his waist, taking Steve's weight. "So they know," he sighs softly, resting his forehead on Bucky's shoulder.

"Yea but this- you- you're not a monster or some shit ok? Erskine did this." He holds Steve tighter. "If Stark even dares to suggest it I'll-"

"Please don't kill anyone," Steve says, only half-joking.

"Maiming?"

Steve doesn't get a chance to respond because the door slowly opens and Sam sticks his head in. "Oh good, was half worried you were still a wolf."

Steve keeps an arm around Bucky and half turns to face Sam. He's naked but doesn't care around these two, they've seen him worse. "So there was company last night?" He asks.

"Still here. Well. Stark is. And Carol. Thor decided you being a werewolf wasn't that big a deal but maybe next time he can carry you to the battle." Sam shrugs and tosses him a pair of sweatpants. "Hurry up before they drink all the coffee."

Bucky seems reluctant to let go of him even when he has to pull back to get the pants on. His hands are immediately back on Steve's skin once he has them on. He's always touchy after Steve's nights as a wolf but this seems like something more. The interruption last night must have gotten to him. 

Steve focuses on Bucky, cupping his face gently so Bucky can't look anywhere else. "I don't want them to use you," Bucky says before Steve can even ask. "You don't remember and-"

"I'm sorry I don't remember," Steve interrupts. His mouth is dry and there's a faint tinge of metal on his tongue that keeps him from leaning in and kissing Bucky like he wants to. All his nights as a wolf are nothing more than impressions, anger usually but no solid memories. Not even of the fight against the Winter Soldier. Of sinking his teeth into Bucky's side. "And you have to deal with this shit alone."

"Don't be." Bucky kisses the corner of Steve's lips. "You fought for me when I was out of my mind. I can do this."

"C'mon then, to the firing squad." Sam quips, watching them with a fond look that makes Bucky blush. He keeps his arm around Bucky's waist as they make their way downstairs. Tony is absorbed in his tablet and Carol is fidgeting. Steve's almost surprised they haven't called anyone else over, Hank maybe or Bobbi.

Bucky pulls away to get coffee for them and Steve digs around for something to eat, settling on an apple. The sweetness will hopefully get rid of the lingering metallic taste.

"So," Tony says. "You're a werewolf? How the hell did you keep that a secret?"

Bucky presses a mug into his hand, trembling slightly. "Fury," Steve answers. "A drug that kept me human." The coffee is sharp and bitter and he quickly downs it. The burn is good, and he feels more aware. "The rest isn't really your business."

"And," Tony continues, looking as if he was only barely listening to Steve, "instead of continuing to use the drug so you can step up as Captain America whenever you'll be needed, you let yourself turn into an out of control wolf once a month?"

Steve can feel Bucky bristle and Sam stands up straighter. He catches Bucky's arm to get his attention, keep him from doing something stupid. Sam he hopes he can trust. "Hey, I'm out of cigarettes-"

"I have some upstairs." Bucky glares at Tony one last time but leaves the kitchen.

"The drugs made me nauseous, useless. Sam can tell you about that. Sharon too." He gets a refill of his coffee. "Probably Bernie if you want to be thorough." He stares down at his mug, he's practiced this before but telling everyone is entirely different. "I'm not going to stop being Captain America."

"We wouldn't ever tell you that," Carol says but he doesn't miss the look she shoots at Tony, making sure Tony understands that too.

"Yea sure it's fine to have an out of control creature dressed up as the American flag, fighting for the greater good. No problems. We'll just pencil your-"

"Get out Stark." Steve hadn't even noticed Bucky coming back. He stands at the edge of the kitchen, his cigarettes in one hand, the metal one clenched into a fist. He's practically shaking and Steve-

Steve doesn't want to stop him.

"Yea like you're in any place to judge Barnes," Tony sneers, getting up and advancing on him. "Brain washed by the Russians-" Sam moves first, getting between Tony and Bucky before Bucky can throw the first punch. He puts a hand on Tony's chest and pushes him firmly back a step.

"Think its time for you to get the hell out. This isn't your problem Tony," Sam says. "Steve's been living with this since before you were born."

Tony takes a deep breath. "Yea. Ok. Fine. Going to get some sleep."

"I'll get you back," Carol volunteers. She pauses and looks at Steve. "We'll talk later?"

"Yea, of course. Later." He watches them leave and once they're gone, sinks his head slowly into his hands. He can hear Sam and Bucky talking quietly, if he focused he could even make out the words but he just wants coffee right now and then maybe a cigarette. He wants the panic in his stomach to go away.

He can hear one of them approach. Sam. Sam always smells clean, like the air high above the city's smog. "He's a dick. He'll get over it, but he is a dick." He leans against the counter next to Steve and Bucky comes over, hoping up onto the counter and frees one of the sticks from the pack and bringing it to his lips.

"Guess my secret is out," Steve sighs, reaching for his coffee again. It's gone tepid so he turns to top it off. "I can talk to Maria, she'll know how to get the drug-"

"No," Bucky interrupts him. "Don't you fucking dare."

He looks to Sam but Sam is already shaking his head. "Bucky's right. You're not doing that shit to yourself again."

Steve glares at both of them, holding onto his coffee mug like a lifeline. "It was stupid to think I could let this happen. I have to be Captain America first." Bucky moves around so he's sitting with Sam framed between his legs, resting his chin on Sam's shoulder. Both of them have matching frowns.

"Maybe if I punch you hard enough you'll see what a stupid idea that is," Bucky says.

Sam sighs and there's nothing obvious in the way they shift and move, the dip of Sam's head and Bucky's soft sigh but they're both disappointed. "If you feel like you have to," Sam says.

"Neither of you approve."

"Sharon wouldn't either," Bucky adds. He gestures for Steve and he doesn't want to. To go to them feels like giving in on the argument.

"Steve. That drug? That didn't make you a better Captain America. You spent most of moon throwing up." Sam pulls away from Bucky. His fingers touch Steve's wrist, and carefully he pries the mug free, taking a drink himself before setting it aside.

"Tell him it's not all about the uniform either," Bucky grumbles from his perch on the counter. He sounds exhausted and Steve realizes he's not even sure if Bucky's slept in the last twenty four hours. "it's about Steve fucking Rogers, for once please don't be a fucking hero."

Sam chuckles softly, and takes Steve's face in his hands, making him look directly at him. "Bucky wants you to know that you need to take care of yourself."

"Bucky knows I'm not very good at that." He lets out a breath, leaning in towards Sam. Sam meets him halfway, resting his forehead on Steve's.

"Yea, I do." He finally gets off the counter and fits himself against the two of them. He catches Steve's chin and pulls him over for a kiss. He pulls back with a yawn. "I think- bed. For a little bit."

Sam curls an arm around Bucky. "I'll make sure he gets there. You think on this." He pokes Steve in the chest so Steve pulls him in for a quick kiss before letting them go. Sam doesn't look appeased but leads Bucky away from the kitchen, leaving Steve alone.

The kitchen seems to echo with the sound of the refrigerator. It's too loud, drilling into his ears. He grabs the box of cigarettes and barely remembers his wallet and cell before getting out of the apartment. He's tried to stay in the mansion in the past, tried to stay connected to the Avengers and SHIELD and he thought maybe his place was there before Sam and Bucky. His habit is to return there now but he's not sure if that would be a good idea.

He doesn't turn unwillingly when it's not a full moon. He can chose to but the lack of control makes him prefer his humanity. But right now, thinking of the way Stark and Carol had looked at him, he can feel his fingers wanting to curl into claws. He had allowed himself to be lulled into a false sense of security, where no one looked at him as a monster. It was stupid and he has to fix that mistake now.

Steve fishes out his phone and dials Hill.

-

Bucky's out as soon as he hits the bed. Sam considers heading back downstairs to talk to Steve but he can hear the door open and shut so stretches out beside Bucky instead, keeping an arm over his waist. Bucky always sleeps best with someone there.

So Sam stays there, waiting.

At least he knows with Steve he usually doesn't have to wait long.

-

Steve leans in the door to the bedroom, looking at the two curled up in bed. Bucky's comfortable enough that his back is to the door, facing Sam instead. For a second, Steve can just stand and look, if they're awake they don't interrupt him.

"I'm not going to do it," he announces. Bucky rolls onto his back and gives him a warm, sleepy smile. "No drugs." He sheds his shirt and pants and is planning on stretching out on Sam's other side where there's room but gets tugged between them.

"My hero," Bucky mumbles, still mostly asleep, and presses against Steve's back, his fingers grazing Sam's side.

"I better be." He twists so he can nip at Bucky's chin.

"There's gonna be more questions," Sam says quietly. Not judgmental, but stating what they all already know. Questions about Erskine and about Steve's control. They might even look at Bucky differently, wondering. He knows there are some who are uncomfortable with how close he is to Steve and Sam.

Bucky bites gently at Steve's shoulder, more like an odd way to give support than anything, it won't even leave a mark. "You never really had to answer questions before," he says carefully. The full extent of Erskine's research was beyond classified, or what remained of his research after his death was. Steve knows he's walking a fine line from being locked up with the rest of the research to be studied for the rest of his natural life.

"What are they going to ask?" Sam asks, pushing himself up on an elbow. "Where the hell did Erskine get the DNA of a semi-extinct semi-mythical creature?"

"Canada," Bucky answers matter of factly and they both look at him. He shrugs. "It's true. Or well. True today. I guess. Don't know where else there are any packs. I'd guess there might have been some in Norway or Finland before the war."

"There's a werewolf pack living in the wilds of Canada," Sam says, slowly sounding that out just in case Bucky yells psyche. "You know what, I'm not even surprised. So you have that answer."

"How do you know that?" Steve asks and is caught off guard when Bucky blushes and stares down at his hand, still resting loosely on Sam's hip.

"I might have looked into it. It was just-"

"He wanted to help you," Sam interrupts. "Leave the kid alone."

"Not a kid," Bucky argues out of habit. Sam smirks and leans over Steve to brush his lips over Bucky's. "Technically older than you," he murmurs, not moving away but not moving into Sam either. They both know Bucky has incredible self-control when he wants, but he's still worn out from last night so with enough determination, Sam can get him to melt. Steve curls his arm around Sam, lightly running his fingers up and down his spine, content to just watch for now.

"If you have to add in the technically, doesn't count," Sam says. There's a hint of a pout on Bucky's lips and Sam finally gives in, kissing him softly. Bucky opens for him, and it's sloppy and lazy. It doesn't even feel like they're putting on a show for him. He relaxes with their focus away from him, away from what he is. It's not something he has to worry about for another month.

Sam pulls away from the kiss to look down at Steve. "Tonight, we'll go on patrol. You'll beat up some bad guys. Everyone will feel better."

"Except the bad guys," Bucky adds with a grin. He squirms underneath Sam, pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek. "We're here. Ok? No one is locking you up." Steve smiles sheepishly at being so easily read but it's a relief to have them on his side.


End file.
